Newest things overheard
 a chance
- Girl: So are you saying you have a shot? Dude: Yeah…if her husband ditches her, I am next in line for sure.
 No, you're not like that at all. Trust me. /sarc
- Girl 1: "Ugh! Sometimes I feel like it's the purpose of every f*cking old person in the world to just complain nonstop!" Girl 2: "I know! It's so annoying. I hate it. Old farts need to stop being so nasty and shut up and f*cking die already!" Girl 1: "Right?? I f*cking hate old people who do nothing but complai...
- Lady: "How long have you two been married?" Obscenely Old Lady: "72 years!" Lady: "72 years!? Wow! You guys deserve a medal!" Impossibly Old Guy: "Which one gets the medal?"
- Real Skinny Chick: I am hungry. Her Friend: Me too. I want dinner. I want a salad. Real Skinny Chick: Wow, you want, like, a whole meal.
- Before she left she said "Thank you for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
 Crazy night
- Yeah that was a crazy night. I woke up in jail with two different sneakers on, and neither of them were mine
- Girl 1 " What is that?" (Points to drawing of vase with flower) Girl 2 " Your dick going into my mums vagina" (Class goes very quiet before bursting out laughing)
 Anzacs and Mules
- "And the Anzacs will take over and fill the world with MUUUUUULES!!!!"
 Six packs
- "I swear. Six packs are hereditary."