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[596] No, you're not like that at all. Trust me. /sarc
 - Girl 1: "Ugh! Sometimes I feel like it's the purpose of every f*cking old person in the world to just complain nonstop!" Girl 2: "I know! It's so annoying. I hate it. Old farts need to stop being so nasty and shut up and f*cking die already!" Girl 1: "Right?? I f*cking hate old people who do nothing but complai...

28 weeks 5 days 11 hours 22 minutes 50 seconds ago
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[595] Lawl
 - Lady: "How long have you two been married?" Obscenely Old Lady: "72 years!" Lady: "72 years!? Wow! You guys deserve a medal!" Impossibly Old Guy: "Which one gets the medal?"

28 weeks 5 days 11 hours 27 minutes 17 seconds ago
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[589] Hungry
 - Real Skinny Chick: I am hungry. Her Friend: Me too. I want dinner. I want a salad. Real Skinny Chick: Wow, you want, like, a whole meal.

32 weeks 5 days 8 hours 30 minutes 45 seconds ago
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[588] Polite
 - Before she left she said "Thank you for getting me off." I like how polite she is.

76 weeks 4 days 11 hours 7 minutes 9 seconds ago
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[587] Crazy night
 - Yeah that was a crazy night. I woke up in jail with two different sneakers on, and neither of them were mine

76 weeks 4 days 11 hours 8 minutes 39 seconds ago
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[586] Awkward
 - Girl 1 " What is that?" (Points to drawing of vase with flower) Girl 2 " Your dick going into my mums vagina" (Class goes very quiet before bursting out laughing)

91 weeks 0 days 23 hours 46 minutes 20 seconds ago
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[585] Anzacs and Mules
 - "And the Anzacs will take over and fill the world with MUUUUUULES!!!!"

91 weeks 0 days 23 hours 52 minutes 6 seconds ago
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[583] Six packs
 - "I swear. Six packs are hereditary."

207 weeks 4 days 7 hours 39 minutes 25 seconds ago
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[582] Fat suit?
 - Random guys in hallway at school: "Yeah, I would totally buy a fat suit." "Why?" "So I could be like neeeooow and plow through these freshmen!"

207 weeks 4 days 9 hours 12 minutes 12 seconds ago
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