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[529] I'm Not Sure
- Band Director talking to a group of a few students: Maybe it was a transgender frog"

4 days 9 hours 19 minutes 25 seconds ago

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[528] Professor
- Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings... We need to be like male elephants! Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks? Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears? Professor: No! We need to...

21 weeks 4 days 19 hours 6 minutes 52 seconds ago

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[527] Old Woman and Man
- Old Woman:Did you see what happened last night? Old man:What happened? Old woman:Someone pushed me in a pole and i broke my finger,Doesn't that bother you that there are so many people that get hurt by bad people? Old man:No because im th...

21 weeks 6 days 15 hours 5 minutes 31 seconds ago

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[526] Dumb Teens
- Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you're three weeks late, you totally don't have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you've definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying. Teen girl #2...

22 weeks 3 days 21 hours 7 minutes 5 seconds ago

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[525] Good Breakfast
- Spaced-out case manager helping client apply for Social Security: So this question here asks you to describe your daily routine in the morning. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Brush your teeth? Client: I ain’t got no teeth. I smok...

23 weeks 6 days 20 hours 50 minutes 5 seconds ago

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[524] Tourists
- Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly. Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know. Bimbette #1: It's probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists. Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.

26 weeks 1 day 16 hours 52 minutes 28 seconds ago

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[520] cupcakes
- Woman: I want one of those cupcakes with no sprinkles. Cashier: They all have sprinkles, ma'am. Woman: [lingers, looks] I thought some didn't. Cashier: They all do. Woman: ... I thought some didn't. Cashier: No, all the cupcakes hav...

26 weeks 5 days 18 hours 31 minutes 25 seconds ago

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[519] Blaming
- Female intern: I'm not sorry. Male worker: You should be. I missed my deadline. Female intern: You missed your deadline because you are hungover, like, every day. Male worker: Compounded by the fact I have to mentor skanks at work!

26 weeks 5 days 18 hours 33 minutes 0 seconds ago

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[518] bras
- Peon #1: Did you hear they're thinking about banning all gel-enhanced bras on airplanes? Peon #2: Women wear gel in their bras? Peon #1: It's like padding, but gel, which gives it a more natural enhancement and feel. Peon #2: That's false adver...

29 weeks 1 day 17 hours 27 minutes 13 seconds ago

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