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[563] Guy trying to pickup girl...
 - Guy: Well, my name is Paul, but most people call me "Tank". Girl: Okay, Paul.

4 weeks 3 days 7 hours 55 minutes 52 seconds ago
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[562] Be open minded
 - "I seriously cant stand people who aren't open-minded. I mean, I have to just completely ignore them or I'll explode."

6 weeks 0 days 15 hours 46 minutes 38 seconds ago
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[560] Big deal, small state
 - "My mom's kind of a big deal in Rhode Island" --Girl at the next table in a coffee shop.

15 weeks 3 days 7 hours 1 minute 55 seconds ago
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[558] pastry death
 - So how's frank doin' these days? "oh, he died. yut, he passed away a few weeks ago." He didd?! "yut, chocked on a donut"

27 weeks 1 day 4 hours 50 minutes 0 seconds ago
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[557] Lube???
 - 'Are you sure you have enough lube? we have over 50 people coming.'

32 weeks 1 day 13 hours 57 minutes 17 seconds ago
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[555] Remember
 - Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me? Girlfriend: Yeah... Boyfriend: That was nice.

34 weeks 3 days 16 hours 40 minutes 21 seconds ago
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[549] Chicken Plate
 - I was about to go home from work (@ a japanese food place), when a phone call came, This woman asked the worker, "what comes on a chicken plate." (our store phone is pretty loud) Then this worker told her "Chicken................(like seriously 5 second pause)... OH! and rice" I almost died from trying not to laugh.... a...

39 weeks 1 day 0 hours 5 minutes 57 seconds ago
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[548] Brother
 - I was walking out of my dorm room to the bathroom down the hall and I walk past this girls room that has the door cracked just as she yells: "I'm serious! Get out of my room. If you can have sex with her, you can have sex with me!" There was a pause and someone else says "but he's you're brother?"

43 weeks 0 days 15 hours 51 minutes 47 seconds ago
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[547] Not so discreet
 - My sister and I were sitting near a married couple and their young daughter at the mall when a gay couple passed. The amused wife said quietly to her husband, "Look at the G--A--Y men." (spelling so their daughter wouldn't understand) Right away their daughter asked very loudly, "What's a G--A--Y man?" Several people looke...

46 weeks 6 days 22 hours 19 minutes 6 seconds ago
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