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[557] Lube???
- 'Are you sure you have enough lube? we have over 50 people coming.'

2 weeks 4 days 9 hours 16 minutes 26 seconds ago

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[556] Five-year-old boy
- Five-year-old boy: There are moles in my bed that are all named Leroy. They keep me warm.

4 weeks 6 days 11 hours 57 minutes 24 seconds ago

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[555] Remember
- Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me? Girlfriend: Yeah... Boyfriend: That was nice.

4 weeks 6 days 11 hours 59 minutes 30 seconds ago

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[554] Barefoot From Now On
- Homeless Man to Very Well Dressed Corporate Executive: You can't wear those fancy shoes no more. You gotta take 'em off rihgt away. The executive ignores him Homeless Man: I tell you - those Gucci shoes you got on. They gotta come off your feet. Your socks too. Ask me why.. Executive: (exasperated) They're Ferragamo, not Gucci. I'm not ...

5 weeks 0 days 3 hours 30 minutes 42 seconds ago

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[549] Chicken Plate
- I was about to go home from work (@ a japanese food place), when a phone call came, This woman asked the worker, "what comes on a chicken plate." (our store phone is pretty loud) Then this worker told her "Chicken................(like seriously 5 second pause)... OH! and rice" I almost died from trying not to laugh.... a...

9 weeks 3 days 19 hours 25 minutes 6 seconds ago

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[548] Brother
- I was walking out of my dorm room to the bathroom down the hall and I walk past this girls room that has the door cracked just as she yells: "I'm serious! Get out of my room. If you can have sex with her, you can have sex with me!" There was a pause and someone else says "but he's you're brother?"

13 weeks 3 days 11 hours 10 minutes 56 seconds ago

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[547] Not so discreet
- My sister and I were sitting near a married couple and their young daughter at the mall when a gay couple passed. The amused wife said quietly to her husband, "Look at the G--A--Y men." (spelling so their daughter wouldn't understand) Right away their daughter asked very loudly, "What's a G--A--Y man?" Several people looke...

17 weeks 2 days 17 hours 38 minutes 15 seconds ago

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[546] Magical Crystals
- I was in a museum gift shop in Santa Fe and overheard a lady telling her husband "Honey, look at this crystal, this would be good to get rid of the bad vibes of the computer"

17 weeks 2 days 17 hours 59 minutes 9 seconds ago

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[544] Small Penis
- While walking to the campus diner, a group of guys were walking behind me. One of them said, "I have a small penis. Well, it's not small, it's just thin. Like a pencil."

17 weeks 6 days 7 hours 14 minutes 31 seconds ago

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