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[558] pastry death
- So how's frank doin' these days? "oh, he died. yut, he passed away a few weeks ago." He didd?! "yut, chocked on a donut"

1 week 6 days 11 hours 49 minutes 23 seconds ago

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[557] Lube???
- 'Are you sure you have enough lube? we have over 50 people coming.'

6 weeks 6 days 20 hours 56 minutes 40 seconds ago

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[556] Five-year-old boy
- Five-year-old boy: There are moles in my bed that are all named Leroy. They keep me warm.

9 weeks 1 day 23 hours 37 minutes 38 seconds ago

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[555] Remember
- Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me? Girlfriend: Yeah... Boyfriend: That was nice.

9 weeks 1 day 23 hours 39 minutes 44 seconds ago

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[549] Chicken Plate
- I was about to go home from work (@ a japanese food place), when a phone call came, This woman asked the worker, "what comes on a chicken plate." (our store phone is pretty loud) Then this worker told her "Chicken................(like seriously 5 second pause)... OH! and rice" I almost died from trying not to laugh.... a...

13 weeks 6 days 7 hours 5 minutes 20 seconds ago

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[548] Brother
- I was walking out of my dorm room to the bathroom down the hall and I walk past this girls room that has the door cracked just as she yells: "I'm serious! Get out of my room. If you can have sex with her, you can have sex with me!" There was a pause and someone else says "but he's you're brother?"

17 weeks 5 days 22 hours 51 minutes 10 seconds ago

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[544] Small Penis
- While walking to the campus diner, a group of guys were walking behind me. One of them said, "I have a small penis. Well, it's not small, it's just thin. Like a pencil."

22 weeks 1 day 18 hours 54 minutes 45 seconds ago

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[515] Poll Worker
- Poll Worker: "Which ballot would you like?" Girl: "I'll take the green one." Poll Worker: "You'll be voting on the Green Party Ballot?!" Girl: "Oh. No, I just thought green was a pretty color."

107 weeks 5 days 19 hours 50 minutes 27 seconds ago

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[511] complaining
- Ghetto girl 1: I don't know why she complaining so much, I mean, they don't hurt that bad. Ghetto girl 2: She just bein' a drama queen. Ghetto girl 1: I know, I mean everybody got crabs.

107 weeks 5 days 20 hours 3 minutes 46 seconds ago

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