[558] pastry death
 -  So how's frank doin' these days? "oh, he died. yut, he passed away a few weeks ago." He didd?! "yut, chocked on a donut"

[557] Lube???
 -  'Are you sure you have enough lube? we have over 50 people coming.'

[556] Five-year-old boy
 -  Five-year-old boy: There are moles in my bed that are all named Leroy. They keep me warm.

[555] Remember
 -  Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me? Girlfriend: Yeah... Boyfriend: That was nice.

[549] Chicken Plate
 -  I was about to go home from work (@ a japanese food place), when a phone call came, This woman asked the worker, "what comes on a chicken plate." (our store phone is pretty loud) Then this worker told her "Chicken................(l...

[548] Brother
 -  I was walking out of my dorm room to the bathroom down the hall and I walk past this girls room that has the door cracked just as she yells: "I'm serious! Get out of my room. If you can have sex with her, you can have sex with me!" ...

[544] Small Penis
 -  While walking to the campus diner, a group of guys were walking behind me. One of them said, "I have a small penis. Well, it's not small, it's just thin. Like a pencil."

[515] Poll Worker
 -  Poll Worker: "Which ballot would you like?" Girl: "I'll take the green one." Poll Worker: "You'll be voting on the Green Party Ballot?!" Girl: "Oh. No, I just thought green was a pretty color."

[511] complaining
 -  Ghetto girl 1: I don't know why she complaining so much, I mean, they don't hurt that bad. Ghetto girl 2: She just bein' a drama queen. Ghetto girl 1: I know, I mean everybody got crabs.

[507] crash
 -  Kid: "Mom, are we going to crash?" Mother: "We don't call it crashing honey. We call it an emergency landing."

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