All things overheard from Other
[548] Brother
- I was walking out of my dorm room to the bathroom down the hall and I walk past this girls room that has the door cracked just as she yells:
"I'm serious! Get out of my room. If you can have sex with her, you can have sex with me!"
...
[536] gay or straight
- Teenage girl: I can't figure out if he's gay or straight. Maybe he's, like, an equal-opportunity kind of guy?
20-something girl: Oh yeah, like, "Bring me your penises! Bring me your vaginas! None shall be turned away!"
[533] Supermarket cashier
- Supermarket cashier: I only use Charmin toilet paper; if a place doesn't have it, I bring my own.
Customer: Wow, you're picky.
Supermarket cashier: I'm picky about my men too; they have to have all of their teeth.
[526] Dumb Teens
- Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you're three weeks late, you totally don't have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you've definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2...
[524] Tourists
- Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know.
Bimbette #1: It's probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.
[520] cupcakes
- Woman: I want one of those cupcakes with no sprinkles.
Cashier: They all have sprinkles, ma'am.
Woman: [lingers, looks] I thought some didn't.
Cashier: They all do.
Woman: ... I thought some didn't.
Cashier: No, all the cupcakes hav...
[518] bras
- Peon #1: Did you hear they're thinking about banning all gel-enhanced bras on airplanes?
Peon #2: Women wear gel in their bras?
Peon #1: It's like padding, but gel, which gives it a more natural enhancement and feel.
Peon #2: That's false adver...
[515] Poll Worker
- Poll Worker: "Which ballot would you like?"
Girl: "I'll take the green one."
Poll Worker: "You'll be voting on the Green Party Ballot?!"
Girl: "Oh. No, I just thought green was a pretty color."
[513] Ragged man
- Ragged man: You know, the president wears suits like these.
Employee: Oh, really? How do you know?
Ragged man: That doesn't matter, but I do know that the Secret Service is just a tailoring shop that makes the president's clothes.
Employee: I s...
[510] Something’s wrong with my knee
- Old Lady: Are you ok?
Guy: Just fine. Something’s wrong with my knee, thanks.
Old Lady: You should exercise.
Guy: [smiling] I do.
Old Lady: You should lose weight. If you lose weight you put less weight on your knees.
Guy: My BMI is 21.
Old ...