All things overheard from School
[529] I'm Not Sure
- Band Director talking to a group of a few students: Maybe it was a transgender frog"
[528] Professor
- Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings... We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to...
[517] all-water diet
- Cheerleader #1: Girl, are you still on that all-water diet?
Cheerleader #2: Mmhmm.
Cheerleader #1: Girl, you better watch, you’re gonna die from that shit.
Cheerleader #2: It don’t matter if I’m dyin’ skinny.
[516] read A Daughter of Han
- Professor: I strongly urge you to read A Daughter of Han by Thursday
Student: Strongly Urge? I thought it was required?!
Professor: It is, but based on your last test, ‘requiring’ doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.
[512] a rock
- Art student #1: I need to find a rock.
Art student #2: It’s between Saudi Arabia and Iran.
Art student #1: No, a “rock”. R-o-c-k, not I-r… fuck you!
[508] Professor
- Professor: There’s an old saying in China. Well, there’s a lot of old sayings in China… and one of them is “A woman is like a wheelbarrow, if you don’t kick her every 3 days, she stops working.”
[506] Science professor
- Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it -- tries to copulate with it... I had a roommate like that once.
[501] slice a cat
- Asian Professor: Many interpretations are acceptable. Remember, there is more than one way to slice a cat.
[Class giggles.]
Asian Professor: Are you laughing because the poem is so romantic?
Girl #1: No, it’s just that you said, “There’s more ...
[499] Football players
- 2 Football players and 2 cheerleaders are sitting in a small group towards the front of the classroom. The cheerleader were asking the guys how old they were when they learned to masturbate and then asked how often they do it.
Football player ...
[496] Annotated Bibliography
- http://overheardthem.com/